Marriage Advice from a Newlywed
BY SAM BALZANO
Being a newlywed is such an exciting time in your relationship. It is the time for growth and understanding, and most importantly, love. We have been lucky enough in our relationship to be given the most important gift from our loved ones, advice. After your wedding day, it is so important to take time to reflect on what it takes to have a happy marriage in the long term, more than just a happy wedding day. With the help of our family’s advice, I believe we are on track for a happy marriage, and I wanted to share some of these gifts in the hope that you find as much value in them as we do.
Marriage isn’t 50/50, it is 100/100
The first piece of advice was gifted to us by my father-in-law, but you may have heard it before. The original quote this was derived from was said by Dave Willis and reflected on giving everything you have in your marriage. In every aspect of your marriage, it is so important to remember that no one individual should give any less than their all. Both parties must work together and do everything they can to build a happy home. At the end of the day, both members of the relationship should feel like they have a partner that is willing to work through life’s challenges together. While this balance may not be exactly the same all of the time, the perfect marriage gives you as much as you put into it. Some days you may feel like you are giving more than you are getting, and vice versa, but the ability of two partners to find their balance again shows strength and flexibility that is vital to long-term happiness.
Compromising with your partner does not have to mean that there is a winner and a loser. Marriage is not two people who give in to what the other partner wants, thus leaving themselves with less than they desire. It is about working together to find a solution that brings you both total happiness and fulfillment. The beauty in loving another is that some of your joy comes from the joy of your partner. Even if you compromise by going to their restaurant choice, getting to see their joy and excitement when their favorite dish hits the table makes any meal perfect, no matter how much you wanted pizza instead.
Treat your Marriage like a Vacation
This piece of advice was gifted to us by a couple in our family that has been on vacation for 40 years. I love this piece of advice because it truly reminds me of how I feel about my partner. He is where I can go when I need a break from the realities and stressors of life, somewhere I can count on to help me relax and slow down. Your marriage should be your escape from the real world, your vacation from responsibilities, a reminder of how to have fun and unwind. Together, life is easier, and nothing can be that bad because at least you have each other to help you work through it, or just be there to hold your hand. Looking at the one you love seems to help all of your problems seem smaller and more achievable, and all of your successes feel even grander.
We know throughout our lifetime we are going to continue to be gifted with more valuable advice to lead us through what is to come for us as a couple. For now, we are just hoping this newlywed bliss never fades and that this honeymoon lasts a lifetime.